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First Openly Gay Player Waiting for Just the Right Moment to Unveil ‘Most Fabulous’ Touchdown Dance In NFL History

These uniforms are super cute, right?

NEW YORK, NY – Just before the start of the season, the San Francisco 49ers launched an It Gets Better campaign, re-enforcing the belief it is only a matter of time before a gay pro football player comes out.  Much speculation has been given as to when that will occur, and what, if any, the repercussions will be. According to the soon-to-be first openly gay player in the NFL, however, locker room morale or intolerance is not a concern in terms of timing; it’s all about getting his touchdown dance just right –“Project Runway-style.”

The player, who wished to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, was able to offer a small preview of sorts: “See, first there was Ickey Woods and his shuffle.  Cute little Ickey, shufflin’ his thing all around. Then Jamal Anderson and the Dirty Bird. Made me wanna get dirty, that’s for sure. And then Chad Johnson Riverdancing. Almost a “gay understood” type dance. But they don’t have nothing on me. All I gotta say is when I’m done workin’ this out and get into the end zone, you better be ready to put your Chick-Fil-A Sandwich down and get your Gaga on.”


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